Four-letter Words NOT Allowed at Home
If you know me, odds are good that you haven't heard me swear. If you are reading this and don't know me, please let me know cuz to think that someone outside of my little circle of friends would actually read my blog, would seriously make my year!
When it comes to swearing in my home, I'm not a huge fan, but there are plenty of things I'd rather them NOT say than swear words. There is far worse!
Having said that, there happen to be a few 4-letter words that I absolutely cannot stand, and they are forbidden in our home.
You can probably guess what these are, including the C word, F word, S word, D word and of course the H word. Let's go over why these are forbidden...
C Word - CAN'T
My wife told me that tennis great Serena William's parents, would not let them say the word "can't" in their home. This resonated strongly with us and have since implemented the same for our family.
Younger children will use "can't" when they struggle learning a new skill, like reading, riding a bike or tying their shoes. Later, it is used when they have a tough time with piano, math or whatever challenging piece of knowledge they are working to obtain.
As a parent, it is much easier to see the truth. You know that with a little more time and effort, your child will soon be riding a bike, driving a stick shift or busting out calculus. The time spent mastering these skills is tiny compared to the benefit they will receive during their lifetime - if they just stick to it.
The C Word is terrible. It is a lie used when we give up. Giving up is the true enemy. It is not that we are unable to do something, we just don't want to try. Giving up and losing faith in yourself is the evil. You might not foresee how you will ever get there, but you will. Or you may choose not to, which is fine as well, but it will never be because you can't.
This doesn't change as people get older. We use the C Word when we give-up on pretty much anything. I can't lose weight. I can't make money. I can't change. I can't....
The problem is that when you keep telling yourself this, pretty soon you will believe the lie and give up trying. Only at that moment does it become truth.
I freaking love the quote from Michelangelo - If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all. Amen brotha!
The one thing common with those who have accomplished great things in life, is that they never used the C word for themselves, nor did they listen when others told them they couldn't.
F Word - FAIL
You don't always win. Most shots, passes, swings and puts miss, even for the greatest. Missing a shot isn't a failure, giving up is.
Not winning is an opportunity to learn and to improve. You cannot fail if you keep trying.
As with the C word, when we admit we are failures, we stop trying at anything challenging. It is conquering the challenging things in life that brings awesomeness.
Most everything worthwhile in life takes work and practice. Saying we fail gives us an out and a reason not to practice. That new job, new body, new friend or new business venture are there, they are just waiting behind some work and enough bravery to get out there!
Never. Give. Up. Full Send!
S Word - SHUT-up
Wanting others who disagree with our way of thinking, to stop communicating is alive and well.
Telling others that their communication has no value and they need to stop talking, has much more to do with the hearers' insecurities, than that of those who are talking.
Our world seems so insecure against those who may think or feel differently than ourselves, that we want them all to shut-up. They should just stop talking since they are so, well, dumb!
D Word - DUMB
Dumb (and siblings - stupid, idiot etc.) - is far too commonly used.
It feels great to be the smart one. It feels great to teach or to express an opinion with new information that others may not have. The problem comes when we believe others with knowledge different than our own are dumb.
Calling people dumb seems to come more from a need to call ourselves smart, than to put someone else down.
Politics, news stations, pundits, experts etc. are all full of those who denounce other's actions as wrong, as everyone who sees the world differently than themselves are dumb. Unfortunately, very few offer more intelligent alternatives.
Most people likely believe that they are smarter now than they were 10-years, 10-months or 10-days ago. They would also hope that they are smarter a week from now, than they are today. We are hopefully all growing, learning and becoming wiser through study and experience. When we hit the point where we think that everyone is dumb, we are saying that at this very moment in life, we are the smartest person possible.
On the flip side, it is incredible how much you learn and grow when you believe everyone around you is also very intelligent! The world opens up and you learn and see things you never thought possible. Every person alive knows a whole ton of stuff that you can learn. You may be very intelligent, but your pride is keeping you from knowing so much more!
H Word - HATE
The 4 letter H Word is the worst of them all. Hating someone could be the lowest state to which we could stoop in our lives. Allowing your life to be overcome with hate for a person or group, puts you in an awful and dark situation. You know it does.
The darkness, anger and fire that fuel your feelings can consume your life and push out all peace and happiness from you world. Hate is only a thought.
It's your thought. It's only in your mind.
Hate stalls your own progress and pushes peace out of your life. It has no impact on the other party, except to maybe give them a victory.
The big problem is that in society, there is always a group of people that it is acceptable and encouraged to hate. Hating those with differing political, religious or financial circumstance, top the groups that it is not only acceptable to hate, but hating them makes you more enlightened with your like-minded peers.
Break the chain. Dropping the H word from your life will be one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself!
The Solution?
The more you learn about another party's actions, the more you understand, the more clearly you will see and the less you will hate. The more you learn about politics, religion or another group from sources supporting those groups, the more the world will make sense and your hate will slowly evaporate.
After the September 11th, so much of the world turned against Muslims and everyone instantly became on expert on that religion. I'm not much of a good example for what you should do in life, but after the attacks, I bought and read the Koran to see what it really taught. The experience was inspiring. The more you know, the less you hate.
All of these 4 letter words needlessly put yourself or others down. Seeking to learn more about your own awesomeness and that of others, you will eliminate these words and feelings, not only from your vocabulary, but more importantly, from your life.
When it comes to swearing in my home, I'm not a huge fan, but there are plenty of things I'd rather them NOT say than swear words. There is far worse!
Having said that, there happen to be a few 4-letter words that I absolutely cannot stand, and they are forbidden in our home.
You can probably guess what these are, including the C word, F word, S word, D word and of course the H word. Let's go over why these are forbidden...
C Word - CAN'T
My wife told me that tennis great Serena William's parents, would not let them say the word "can't" in their home. This resonated strongly with us and have since implemented the same for our family.Younger children will use "can't" when they struggle learning a new skill, like reading, riding a bike or tying their shoes. Later, it is used when they have a tough time with piano, math or whatever challenging piece of knowledge they are working to obtain.
As a parent, it is much easier to see the truth. You know that with a little more time and effort, your child will soon be riding a bike, driving a stick shift or busting out calculus. The time spent mastering these skills is tiny compared to the benefit they will receive during their lifetime - if they just stick to it.
The C Word is terrible. It is a lie used when we give up. Giving up is the true enemy. It is not that we are unable to do something, we just don't want to try. Giving up and losing faith in yourself is the evil. You might not foresee how you will ever get there, but you will. Or you may choose not to, which is fine as well, but it will never be because you can't.
This doesn't change as people get older. We use the C Word when we give-up on pretty much anything. I can't lose weight. I can't make money. I can't change. I can't....
The problem is that when you keep telling yourself this, pretty soon you will believe the lie and give up trying. Only at that moment does it become truth.
I freaking love the quote from Michelangelo - If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all. Amen brotha!
The one thing common with those who have accomplished great things in life, is that they never used the C word for themselves, nor did they listen when others told them they couldn't.
F Word - FAIL
You don't always win. Most shots, passes, swings and puts miss, even for the greatest. Missing a shot isn't a failure, giving up is.
Not winning is an opportunity to learn and to improve. You cannot fail if you keep trying.
As with the C word, when we admit we are failures, we stop trying at anything challenging. It is conquering the challenging things in life that brings awesomeness.
Most everything worthwhile in life takes work and practice. Saying we fail gives us an out and a reason not to practice. That new job, new body, new friend or new business venture are there, they are just waiting behind some work and enough bravery to get out there!
Never. Give. Up. Full Send!
S Word - SHUT-up
Wanting others who disagree with our way of thinking, to stop communicating is alive and well.
Telling others that their communication has no value and they need to stop talking, has much more to do with the hearers' insecurities, than that of those who are talking.
Our world seems so insecure against those who may think or feel differently than ourselves, that we want them all to shut-up. They should just stop talking since they are so, well, dumb!
D Word - DUMBDumb (and siblings - stupid, idiot etc.) - is far too commonly used.
It feels great to be the smart one. It feels great to teach or to express an opinion with new information that others may not have. The problem comes when we believe others with knowledge different than our own are dumb.
Calling people dumb seems to come more from a need to call ourselves smart, than to put someone else down.
Politics, news stations, pundits, experts etc. are all full of those who denounce other's actions as wrong, as everyone who sees the world differently than themselves are dumb. Unfortunately, very few offer more intelligent alternatives.
Most people likely believe that they are smarter now than they were 10-years, 10-months or 10-days ago. They would also hope that they are smarter a week from now, than they are today. We are hopefully all growing, learning and becoming wiser through study and experience. When we hit the point where we think that everyone is dumb, we are saying that at this very moment in life, we are the smartest person possible.
On the flip side, it is incredible how much you learn and grow when you believe everyone around you is also very intelligent! The world opens up and you learn and see things you never thought possible. Every person alive knows a whole ton of stuff that you can learn. You may be very intelligent, but your pride is keeping you from knowing so much more!
H Word - HATE
The 4 letter H Word is the worst of them all. Hating someone could be the lowest state to which we could stoop in our lives. Allowing your life to be overcome with hate for a person or group, puts you in an awful and dark situation. You know it does.
The darkness, anger and fire that fuel your feelings can consume your life and push out all peace and happiness from you world. Hate is only a thought.
It's your thought. It's only in your mind.
Hate stalls your own progress and pushes peace out of your life. It has no impact on the other party, except to maybe give them a victory.
The big problem is that in society, there is always a group of people that it is acceptable and encouraged to hate. Hating those with differing political, religious or financial circumstance, top the groups that it is not only acceptable to hate, but hating them makes you more enlightened with your like-minded peers.
Break the chain. Dropping the H word from your life will be one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself!
The Solution?
I believe knowledge is the key to eliminating all 4 letter words from your vocabulary. I've said in a few other blogs that
the more you know, the less you hate.
After the September 11th, so much of the world turned against Muslims and everyone instantly became on expert on that religion. I'm not much of a good example for what you should do in life, but after the attacks, I bought and read the Koran to see what it really taught. The experience was inspiring. The more you know, the less you hate.
All of these 4 letter words needlessly put yourself or others down. Seeking to learn more about your own awesomeness and that of others, you will eliminate these words and feelings, not only from your vocabulary, but more importantly, from your life.
Love it Ryan! I was certainly thinking of different words. I need to work on not swearing, but I love this message!
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